I slid into the salon chair, hung my jacket and purse on the spur-like cowboy hook, and glanced at my long-time hairdresser in the mirror. After more than 15 years of having her beautify my hair, we never lack for conversation.
Our families are at the heart of our conversation because, well, because we are mothers! Other than Jesus, is there anything closer to a mother’s heart than her family? All the plans we’ve made with them and the precious times we’ve shared with the greatest blessings God has given us highlight the afternoon. Often we share Scripture to encourage each other or show one another a whimsical quote/cartoon found on Facebook. And, of course we keep up with each others’ latest activities and newest adventures.
This last appointment, though, was an eye opener. A complete U turn for me. It took me back to the early years of our marriage. Thirty four years ago. The reminiscing tip-toed into a delicate area of my heart. One I rarely discuss. Marriage, Miscarriage, and Grief.
As I shared with my friend the joys I felt knowing that at last I was carrying the baby we had longed for, my eyes pooled with tears I thought were spent long ago. It was a memorable time when the doctor announced my pregnancy test was positive. Hubby and I rejoiced and then quickly shared the news with both of our mothers who were living with us at the time.
A special lunch was planned and tee shirts were made for each of our parents that said, “God made me a Grandmother.” We beamed and they cried as we gifted them with their present and the news.
But our joy was short-lived. A little more than eight weeks into the pregnancy, a searing pain that felt like flesh tearing away from my lower abdomen wall flashed through my body. I breathed softly and slowed down my walking. Within moments it passed and I prayed that it was just the way I moved. I promised myself to be more careful.
In a couple of days, the bleeding began and we feared the worst was happening. I called my doctor and took every precaution necessary to save our baby’s life–to save our dream. Bed rest, someone to help with housework, and another to care for the grandmother who had come to live with us because she had cancer.
Despite all of our efforts, the bleeding continued for days. But I held onto the hope that one of our dearest friends had bled considerably when she was 6 months pregnant yet her baby girl was protected and born healthy.
Because of complications, it took the doctors another month and an ultrasound to determine for sure that I had miscarried.
When my friend, the hairdresser, heard our story she showed me this special site called “What to Expect.com”. I wept at the gift God was giving me through my friend. With the miracle of technology I was able to see “Our Baby!” At least it was what our baby looked like at 8 weeks old and the site excitingly explained all the different parts of Our Baby’s development.
My mother-heart reached out to the image on the screen, “meeting” for the first time the image of our little one. Tears still coursing through furrows on my now wrinkled face, I thanked my hairdresser for the precious gift she and God had just given me. I could hardly wait to go home and show hubby.
In God’s perfect plan, I never became pregnant again, but God blessed our lives with two of the liveliest boys who filled our lives with joys, adventures, misadventures, and blessings we never could have had on our own. Our two adopted sons are now young adult men who make us proud and continue to bless our lives.
God’s plans and ways may not be our ways, but they are Perfect!
Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday. I hope your church service touched on this subject today. Take a moment to thank God for the gift of life because He created you precious and worthwhile in His image. And thank Him for the gift of your children.
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!” Psalm 139:13-17 NIV
The link to “What to Expect”–http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/week-by-week