The text from youngest beeped at me, “(Lol) Sean Miller is on my flight.” The thoughts start whirring as I walk through the grocery story. The basketball coach of the University of Arizona is on the plane with youngest. The basketball coach for whom Jordan was one of several team managers a couple of years ago.
It was the road we all thought youngest would travel. Keep working for the team, continue his major in Journalism, and blaze a trail into the sports broadcasting world. An internship with ESPN, or FOX Sports News, or maybe the radio station in Timbuktu. It was the dream we all shared. Then life took a U-turn.
Youngest is now heading off into Navy Boot Camp on Wednesday.
I stopped the thoughts as I stared down the aisles. First the Mexican food, then the coffees. Before I reached the cake mixes, I repeated in my mind. “God is in control. He has other plans for Jordan. His plan for Jordan is perfect, for his good, to give him a hope and a future. His plans are better than my plans.”
Breathe again. Remember the blessings. Recount the blessings God has bestowed in this present moment, day, time. I grabbed the Ghirardelli semi-sweets to make chocolate chip pancakes for youngest’s last breakfast at home. Tomorrow. His favorite.
So, I look beyond the U of A shirt and envision the Navy DEP (Delayed Entry Program) shirt he has been wearing for the past four months.
Even in these last moments and days, the destructive thoughts can still assail me although I have surrendered myself to Jordan’s decision and God’s plan. So I count the blessings.
“Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes.” Daniel 4:25 NIV
To You, Oh, Sovereign Lord be the glory, honor, and praise for blessings you pour out, even when we still have a faint hold on the dream that has escaped us:
911) Texts and phone calls from youngest on this past weekend’s trip
912) Co-hosting a tea party for our prayer group friends, friends tied by love and prayer and caring for each other’s families throughout our 18 years here in Arizona
913) All the feminine frills, dainty floral teacups, bite-sized sweet treats, scones, a sterling silver tea set and brunch-like entrees to decorate our gathering of friendship
914) Caring conversation
915) Torrential monsoon rain to clear away the cobwebs–outside and in the head
916) Star balloons still dancing high in the air now delight house-bound individuals
917) The grace to wait–to hold back on sending a text to youngest; guarding the mind
919) The Lord sustaining me in battle
920) The Lord being in my messy behavior and bringing peace
921) Meeting son’s recruiter~knowing what youngest’s future holds
922) Making youngest’s favorite dinner~beef stroganoff~ and watching him gobble down three helpings
923) Using Coach John Wooden’s quotes as a brief meditation before praying as a family. Holing on to what will soon be taken from my hand
924) Learning so much about the Navy, what to expect in these next two months and beyond on the NavyForMoms website.~Navy personnel guiding the discussions so they are accurately answered.
925) Writing again
Where have you seen God as sovereign in your life?
Where are you still struggling to release your grip on life?