The Dream Abandoned On The Plane
The text from youngest beeped at me, “(Lol) Sean Miller is on my flight.” The thoughts start whirring as I walk through the grocery story. The basketball coach of the University of Arizona is on the plane with youngest. The basketball coach for whom Jordan was one of several team managers a couple of years ago.
It was the road we all thought youngest would travel. Keep working for the team, continue his major in Journalism, and blaze a trail into the sports broadcasting world. An internship with ESPN, or FOX Sports News, or maybe the radio station in Timbuktu. It was the dream we all shared. Then life took a U-turn.
Youngest is now heading off into Navy Boot Camp on Wednesday.
I stopped the thoughts as I stared down the aisles. First the Mexican food, then the coffees. Before I reached the cake mixes, I repeated in my mind. “God is in control. He has other plans for Jordan. His plan for Jordan is perfect, for his good, to give him a hope and a future. His plans are better than my plans.”
Breathe again. Remember the blessings. Recount the blessings God has bestowed in this present moment, day, time. I grabbed the Ghirardelli semi-sweets to make chocolate chip pancakes for youngest’s last breakfast at home. Tomorrow. His favorite.
So, I look beyond the U of A shirt and envision the Navy DEP (Delayed Entry Program) shirt he has been wearing for the past four months.
Even in these last moments and days, the destructive thoughts can still assail me although I have surrendered myself to Jordan’s decision and God’s plan. So I count the blessings.
“Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes.” Daniel 4:25 NIV
To You, Oh, Sovereign Lord be the glory, honor, and praise for blessings you pour out, even when we still have a faint hold on the dream that has escaped us:
911) Texts and phone calls from youngest on this past weekend’s trip
912) Co-hosting a tea party for our prayer group friends, friends tied by love and prayer and caring for each other’s families throughout our 18 years here in Arizona
913) All the feminine frills, dainty floral teacups, bite-sized sweet treats, scones, a sterling silver tea set and brunch-like entrees to decorate our gathering of friendship
914) Caring conversation
915) Torrential monsoon rain to clear away the cobwebs–outside and in the head
916) Star balloons still dancing high in the air now delight house-bound individuals
917) The grace to wait–to hold back on sending a text to youngest; guarding the mind
918) Leftovers!
919) The Lord sustaining me in battle
920) The Lord being in my messy behavior and bringing peace
921) Meeting son’s recruiter~knowing what youngest’s future holds
922) Making youngest’s favorite dinner~beef stroganoff~ and watching him gobble down three helpings
923) Using Coach John Wooden’s quotes as a brief meditation before praying as a family. Holing on to what will soon be taken from my hand
924) Learning so much about the Navy, what to expect in these next two months and beyond on the NavyForMoms website.~Navy personnel guiding the discussions so they are accurately answered.
925) Writing again
Where have you seen God as sovereign in your life?
Where are you still struggling to release your grip on life?
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I have three sons–two of whom are in the stage of life as you son and chasing their “callings” in life, Janis. It is so hard, for me too, to sit back and let them respond to God’s promptings when sometimes I feel like I know better what God’s telling them to do. Lol! I share your anxiety, excitement and hope that God will guide these budding young men into great opportunities for Him. Thanks so much for sharing your great news and little mom “vulnerability” too! 🙂
So Happy you are allowing God to control your life, too!!!
So PROUD of you!!!
I love you my friend,
~Ceal~
Thanks for sharing, Janis.. God will direct & supply all you needs.
Love,
Marilyn
Dear Janis,
Praying that the enemy be bound in your life and that you may have a great outpouring from the Holy Spirit and experience God’s mercy, comfort and strengthening. Remember He is with you in the valley, He is your Shepherd.
God is in control of Jordan’s life. I’m sure it is so hard to let go though as a mom. I will join you in praying for your son on his journey.
blessings and love,
Debbie
I agree with Ceal! I am watching you walk through this with renewed strength as you look up and see what God is doing! I am so proud of you my sister! YOU GO GIRL! Our God is able to see us through the deepest sea and to keep us firmly in His grip. Praying for you and of course our dear Jordan as well.
Julie