It’s a strange place to be. Wandering between joy and unexpected sorrow. Looking forward to rejoicing at someone’s wedding and suddenly hearing I will need to help plan a family funeral. To be suspended above the two, emotions hovering, not sure where to land. All happening within one of the most joyful, albeit, hectic seasons of the year.
My resolve to focus on Jesus and His birth this Christmas, to spend quality time in the presence of family and friends evaporated like misty curls into the hanging space. Priorities shift, schedules change, decorations packed in boxes marked Christmas fill joy in the spare bedroom.
Yet the glow of Advent candles warm the kitchen table and our heart-made Nativity set calls us to focus on what really matters. With a Christmas wreath on our front door and a pumpkin in our entry way, inbetween describes more than our emotions this December. We are somewhat out of kilter this season, though I would never claim to be an early decorator.
It’s as if we’ve been pressed into letting go of the extraneous, finding simpler ways, being present to Him and others. So with my heart half full of joy, half full of perplexed sorrow, I move toward the events.
With my arm threaded through youngest’s, I wobble on heels too high through a gazebo-decked garden. Dazzling white chairs in neat rows hold hearts joined in joyful celebration for the soon-arriving bride and groom. An evening of unexpected blessings fell from heaven upon us like stardust on the jubilant couple. What the Lord had ordained for that night formed a strong pillar for my suspended emotions.
Only the funeral remains. However, the Lord has already paved the way with blessings. A home to share with cousins, the church service performed by a family friend, and time to be present with family we rarely see.
Caught between emotions, floating in space, has proved to be a place where the Lord can demonstrate His provision and providence to us.
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” Psalm 139:7-10 NIV
I will be taking a short break to spend time resting in His love and peace~and being present to my family.