Quieting the Overwhelming “Whys”
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| Questions Need Soul Answers-Psalm 131 |
I could feel the depression creep into my skin like an insidious attack of insects looking for a winter home in which to roost. I flipped my head to the other side on my soft pillow, hoping to rub out the feeling of invasion and a Saturday morning filled with dreariness.
Only the morning’s grogginess filled my waking mind at first. But once the invasion began, my contemplation of the day ahead became sullied with thoughts of weariness, a whisper of unworthiness, a flashlight beaming on my failures, and a gut-wrenching lie that my life was empty.
I wanted to bury my head and go back to sleep. I glanced at the clock and then punched my mattress and pushed myself out of bed.
This day would begin NOW!
But, “Why, Lord?” was the question that haunted me. “When will I awake with joy–the joy you promised so long ago? The joy that will last forever regardless of the circumstances?”
The Lord answered my cry in many ways filled with joy. He sent a friend to say, “Hi” while she was out biking with her husband. I let my husband visit while I hid in the laundry room in my nightgown. Too embarrassed to be seen schlepping around in jammy wear at such a late hour of the morning. I hid. An interesting response considering the morning’s meditations. Yet the Lord offered a joyful counter to the thought of “emptiness.”
I wandered upstairs and pushed the start button on my computer, then left to change my clothes and do more chores. I returned to check my email for another extra-sale coupon from Michael’s arts and crafts store. But the Lord had a better surprise for me.
There in my email was a note from Pam@ 2 Encourage. She wrote that my blog was her featured blog of the week. And she designed a most beautiful button to represent my blog. Amazement and joy filled my heart as I read her note through glassy eyes.
“Lord, You know how to counter the negative thoughts and feelings that come over me, ” I wrote in my journal. “You put joy in my heart when I least expect it. How much I need to focus on Your word and not worry about being perfect. Just know I am loved–a love I never earned and one I never have to strive to keep. Thank you for your love.”
The devotional I read today was called, “Why Me?” and it really ministered to my questions for the Lord. He is the Lord, and He knows the circumstances and emotions that we go through in life. He also knows His reason for allowing them. All He requires of us is to trust Him and believe He has the situation under control. I like one of the points made by the writer–we probably wouldn’t understand “why” even if the Lord gave us the answer. We just need to quiet our souls in His arms. Keep our hearts humble and concerned only with Him.
“But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.
“O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.” Psalm 131:2-3 NIV
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I would say both your friend who stopped by and your fellow blogger friend had perfect timing, but we know it was God’s timing! Blessings to you.
CM~So grateful for the Lord’s timing and love! Thanks for the visit.
From My Heart to Yours,
Janis
Hi Janis,
Thank you for this post and also for your prayers for me and my family.
I can so relate to so much of your post. Being a depressive and a “What If” person.
I too find that people seem to have perfect timing to do and say things to me, but as CM said we know it is God’s timing.
God Bless – Nita
I think a great shot.
Yeahhhh Pam for being there…encouraging you in the way you needed and reminding you how much He adores you….Have a great week Janis.
sometimes even knowing the answer of why, wouldn’t satisfy our disappointment, our longing, or whatever burden our heart is carrying. the better question would be “what?” Lord, what would you have me do with this that you have given me?
i love your photo up there. it reminds me of that Footprints in the Sand poem… and reminds me that God alone carries me through rough waters and smooth seas.
Beautifully written and wonderfully transparent, Janis. Your honesty brought tears to my because it struck a chord in my heart. I can totally relate. Thank you for sharing your heart. I always look forward to reading your post.
Blessings!
~a
What sweet gifts from God through your friends. And now, He has me praying for you for hugs and more encouragement. 🙂 Have a blessed week.
Thanks for sharing your heart, Janis. God is so faithful and I like the thought that we probably wouldn’t get it even if He told us why. There are some things best just left to be a mystery to us. It sure makes us dependent on Him. Celebrating your blog success! I can see why! 🙂
Blessings.
I know why I found your post today. Sorrow, as a result of circumstances,has tried to steal my joy. This morning I requested that a brother sing “Because He lives”. That songs speaks to me especially when depression attacks my soul. Thanks to our Father, we receive gifts of encouragement sometimes when we least expect it but most need it.
Putting the feet in a question mark – awesome idea!
God’s blessings and reminders of his love comes in so many forms, just like you shared… just keep seeking him, and he’ll keep being found! One day, you’ll get to the other side!
One thing that is nice about an uplifting e-mail is – – that you can keep your jammies on and who cares? Those devotionals and e-mails that come at just the right time are ordered of the Lord.
Hi Janis. Thanks for your encouraging post, telling how God met you right where you were, in the trenches. He’s been ministering to me this week, too.
The past couple weeks we’ve had trips to the ER with both my folks, Mom had a heart attack then surgery, Dad had infection in both feet, I’ve dealt with intense backaches, and I was asking the Lord, “Where is joy?”
Then last week I got into the book of Ruth for our Bible study. Naomi felt like God had turned His back on her. Problems, problems. She couldn’t see that He was working. She didn’t know that joy was just around the corner. How cool that the book ends with Naomi cuddling a grandchild, with joy, hope, and faith restored.
Even when it is hard to see the evidence, as a believer, I know God is working behind the scenes. I know His invisible presence is right beside me. I know His plans for me and for those I care about are good plans, loving plans. And I know God is faithful. Blessings. – Carol
Love how God comes in and reassures us of His presence regardless of our questions and uncertainties! Visiting your blog after reading Pam’s blog.
Beautiful and exciting to see the Lord demonstrate His reality in our lives and how much He knows our heart and all we are going through. What a huge encouragement of that fellow blogger and her design especially for you. How awesome that she doesn’t know you but her emblem of your blog name fits you perfectly! How great is our God!! Love you friend. I ate alllll of my taffy! Yum
Karen
Oh Janis. How I identify with those “jammie” days. Been having a few of those lately, too. That creeping sense of sadness and fatigue is just so insidious – your word picture of insects crawling inside was so right on! I have lately been talking to the Lord, too – wondering why this wave of depression arrives and rolls over me at the most unexpected times.
And yet – He’s there. I love how He reminded you of that with a precious *blog blessing*. And you know, He loves us so very much – even in our jammies!
GOD BLESS!
(You used the great photo! I feel privileged that I got to preview it! 🙂
Friends are such a gift from God. I’m glad Pam’s email helped your day. I found your blog through her’s. I love your photos and soup recipe (yum).
I’m lifting you up in prayer.
Hi Janis,
God’s perfect timing is such a miracle and blessing; He came to your rescue by sending you loving friends to strengthen and uplift you. 🙂 I pray that your spirits and burdens are lifted by His healing touch, and that you have cast all your cares on Him who loves you! 🙂
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you, with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
Blessings and hugs,
Denise
I love it when God uses so many different ways to surprise us and brighten our day. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post with us. I always enjoy what you share.
Blessings,
Charlotte